I drown in my negativity, each thought pulling me deeper. Yet I uselessly flail my arms.
I feel ready to give up and let the sea take me as each tide brings another wave of anxiety.
I am at war with myself and each Swell grows greater until I forget why I should struggle at all.
‘What’s the point?’ My head cries out and I almost agree.
The battle has begun for another day and I feel the angry bite of each wave. So many taunting, whispered words.
They fill my head with their lies yet they sound so true, ‘I never will be good-enough.’
But as I let the surf crash in something changes inside; a flash of power, a need to push on.
I remember that my love is stronger than this worry.
The waves keep coming but they have lost their bite as I rise to the surface and gasp in victory.
I fought and won and now the real work begins.
I stare at the vast white and the whispered words cry louder.
‘I’ll never be good enough.’ ‘What’s the point?’
But I drown out their cries with the pounding rhythm of my words flowing forth.
I drown not only the words but the ugly being itself.
So the war goes on, I won this round but I know better than to think worry to be defeated.
Each day I must make the choice, a choice to take the hard road and fight.
This is from a writing exercise suggested by another blogger.